Unsent letter # 2

Someone,

You weren't a dear to me, but I always wanted to write a letter to you,
            
            someone whom I thought would be a dear to me.

Thank you.

For believing in me.
For bringing out a part of me that brings the best out of me.
I don't know if you know how much of a fearful person I am despite your image of me being strong and independent. 

Maybe you what brought you to notice me was that,
                 my strength hidden in fear and weakness.


Thank you.

For the conversations that stirred my mind.
For the dialogues and questions of mine that you entertained.
For the intellectual guidance that you freely gave to me.
For your hugs? (My memories are fading as I try to recall).


I thought that you would be a dear to me.
But no.

The last awkward hug that we had as you asked me the question that everybody always greeted me with said otherwise.

I thought that I would be a dear to you.
But no.

I was just someone.
   
                     Someone that you were curious about.

It's weird how I still think what could have happened if I stayed. 
But I'm still glad that I didn't.
Because if I did, then our friendship would be just imaginary. 

A friendship built on something that wouldn't last.


I hope that somehow, someway, I have planted a seed in your heart. 
I hope that it somehow grew and helped you in your search for the Lover of your soul.
I hope that you'll find Him too.


Thank you.
Please tell that to your person too.
He believed in me too.
I hope that both of you weren't disappointed when I left.

I'll admit that I had my regrets and frustrations with my decision. 

But I'm sorry.
My Home is somewhere else.
It's in Someone's presence.

So thank you but,

Good bye.



Sincerely,

A.N. Caelus

Unsent Letter #1

Dear,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I can't be strong for you.
I' sorry if I can't give you as much light as I can to pull you out of the darkness you are feeling.
I'm sorry if I'm too weak to carry the weight upon your heart and soul.
I'm sorry if I'm also in chaos to help you keep your life organized.
I'm sorry if I can't answer all of your questions because I also ask the same questions that you have.
I'm sorry if instead of smiling for you I also end up crying.

But don't worry.
Our Dad is there to do what we cannot do for each other.

He can be the Light in this darkness that we're in.
          He is the light.
He can carry our pain.
         Look at the cross.
He can give us peace.
         Remember how the sea became calm at His command?
He can give us answers.
         He is the answer.
He can give us joy.
         He is the only source of joy.


I know that you feel like dying even when you're living.

                     That's what I also feel every day when I wake up and when the day ends.

But,

Don't forget that He died so that we may live.

Don't ever ever forget that.
Always cling to that truth.


I know that sometimes you think that people just give you empty words and promises that will be broken at some point.


And I won't lie to you;
                         some people do.
Some.
Not all.

So please believe the best in people.
Believe that they do, deep in their heart, care and love you.

And please.

Believe in yourself too.

You're not what the lies in your mind tell you that you are.
You are loved.
Greatly loved.


Don't you dare say that you're not because you are.
Please don't forget the cross.
Please remember it as the child you would.

Don't forget to be you-- the child you.

Smile. Believe. Love.
With all your heart.

Because that's the you that I know and see.

Don't let the pressures of "adulting" take away you.

Dear?
           Go be a child.



Love,

A.N.Caelus

"I'm Here"

"Im all alone."

"No one will ever love me."

"Why did this have to have to happen to me?"

"I can never be forgiven."

Grief. Pain. Fear.

Darkness is present."




"You don't understand me. No one will ever understand what I'm feeling."

  "I'm dirty."



A chaos. A mess.
                    That's what you think you are.

Darkness creeps in.


Lost. Helpless. Numb.
      
             You wrap yourself into your own cocoon of self-pity

"I'm worthless."

Down you go in this downward spiral of thoughts and feelings.




Silence screams for help.

Darkness covers you.
Blind. Deaf. Paralyzed.

You want it to end.
You can't take it anymore.
You're living but you feel like you're dying.









Tears stream down your cheeks like a river.
Your cry for help turned into a

               "Why?"


Your emotion turned into anger.
Into frustration.
Into blame.
Towards yourself.
Towards people.
Towards God.

But,
     in the end,
                 you cried for help again.

"Shhh"
       "I'm here"

says the    Light.



"I was here all the time, my dear.
                                    Open your eyes."

It's not the end.
The Light is present. Always.
Let Him in.
Let Him embrace you.
Don't lose hope for        He is your hope.


Open your eyes and see how He cares for you.
Open your ears and hear His message of grace.
Open your heart and experience His love.


Look at the cross and know that
          
                                He died just so that you may live.

You are His beloved.

That's who you are.

You are never alone.
                       He is here. Always.

A Letter

To the most adorable dog in the world (as every pet owner tells their pet),

I am writing a letter to you.

You have been with me for 3 months so far and yet you have already tamed me. Not only me but Dad, Mom, and Atsi too. I never thought that the grumpy Rio who didn't like pets would end up hugging you long and tight today. 

Do you know how you ended up being part of my life?

You are a gift. A very precious one from a person very dear to me.

That person made "uncle scrooge" Rio start liking dogs. (I'm sorry I still don't like cats). That person gave you to me. 

Do you know how much I prayed that you will survive and live? You and your siblings always got sick and three of your siblings died. Your first tamer and I were worried that you might not make it. But by faith, we prayed and believed that you will be alive and healthy.

And here you are now.

Do you know how you ended up with your name? I wanted to name you Little Prince to remind me not to forget what it's like to be a child even if I'm growing up. But Dad, Mom, and Atsi didn't approve of it since it was too long and common for them. Dad suggested Ascof since you kept on coughing during the time where we first visited you. I disapproved of it arguing that your cough will be gone away soon. So we thought about Aslan or Simba, but you didn't seem like them. Milo was also a choice since your future-wife-to-be is Kida, but I disapproved of that as well. Atsi and Dad suggested of Percy and Atsi and I agreed that your full name will be Persimmon (yes, not Perseus. Yes, not Persi).

I have a lot of thank yous to give you and I'm going to enumerate each of it now through this letter.

Thank you for showing me your "fortress" on your first day in out home. I was crying and I don't remember exactly what was the reason but I knew it was related to my person. You went inside the bedroom where I was crying, barked, and ran outside as if to say "Follow meeee". And there your fortress was with your proud, happy face beaming at me. I still have not tamed you and you still have not tamed me, but I appreciated what you did to make me smile.

Thank you for hiding behind my back and licking me when you know that I'm sad. Even if you end up falling asleep while listening to me spill, thank you for still being there for me. 

Thank you attempting your best to come near me when I call you when you're sleepy. You try your best to follow me around and stay close to me even if your body is telling you to stop and sleep. Seeing your effort makes me laugh and I end up going to you to hug you. 

Thank you for licking my tears away. Like that time that I was reading a box full of letters for my birthday, you licked my whole face and made me smile while crying. And that night where you cried as well because I was crying. You even stood up just to reach my face and lick away my tears. It's weird how you know when I'm crying. I'm sorry if I worried you with my coughs and tears.

Thank you for waking me or Dad up in the wee hours of the night because you know that we'll be disappointed when we wake up to find your mess lying around. 

Thank you for spending time with me. I enjoy it when we play hide-and-seek and chase each other around in the yard or anywhere.

Thank you for being a good dog when Dad and I take you to bath and when I give you your vitamins.

Thank you for understanding that you can't eat my favorite popcorn and that you have to be content with one bottle of yakult. 

Thank you for just being there for me. I wish you can always stay by my side. And although you like spending time with Dad, Mom, Atsi, and Mum too, I'll be secured in knowing that at the end of the day, you'll still choose me.

Thank you for bearing my long and tight hugs. I was surprised that you hugged me twice the other night. I needed that at that time so thank you very much.

Percy? Please know that I love you and I miss you a lot when you're not there (I even get Percy-sick sometimes). Please also know that I learned to be more patient, joyful, caring, and loving because of you. I mostly learned it during the times when you would cry because you can't sleep without someone beside you or when you want someone to wake up and play with you. So please continue to help me develop my character, okay? Remind me that what is essential is invisible to the eye. 

Thank you my Little Prince.

P.S. Please don't bite Mr. fox's snout. He's your frieeend not your toy.

Love,

Your Person.