An Open Letter To You

"Oh look who's pretty and who's not."
"I'm fat and ugly."
"Nobody likes me."
"Why are they good at singing and dancing and I'm not?"
"No one cares."
"My hair is such a mess."
"I'm plain. What's unique about me? Nothing."
"Nobody will accept me."
"My teeth are crooked."
"They will never understand me."
"I just cringe every time I read what I write or see the painting that I created."
"I'm dumb and stupid while everyone else is smart and good at something."
"I hate myself."

Stop it. You. Yes you who keeps on saying these negative statements to yourself. STOP IT NOW.

Stop filling your mind with lies.
Stop pitying yourself.
Stop magnifying your flaws.
And don't ever say that you hate yourself just because you don't see any stroke of "beauty" in you.

You think people perceive you as ugly?
You think no one notices you?
You think no one will ever understand you?
You think no one cares about you?
You think you're no good?
You think not a single soul loves you?

Well guess what. You are wrong.
If you dwell on such kind of thoughts, then I guess you haven't heard of your love story yet.
Or maybe you have heard about it but you didn't believe that it was your love story.

I don't know if you know this but your love story is written in a love letter that has about 783,137 words [1].
I don't know if you know this but there's Someone who has been trying to catch your attention and did some pretty serious lengths just so that He can be with you.

Do you know that He died for you?
Do you know how hurt He feels whenever you are hurt?
Do you know that He embraces you when you're crying alone?
Do you know that he smiles whenever you're happy?
Do you know that He created the world for you?

Do you know how much He loves you?

You think you're ugly? Well, He thinks you're fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
You think no thinks about you? Think again because He thinks about you 24/7. (Psalm 139:17)
You think no one understands your problems? Hahaha, He knows what you feel even before you say what you're feeling. (Psalm 139:1-4). He knows how to sympathize because he experienced the it as well. (Hebrews 4:15)
You think you're plain and ordinary who won't be able to do anything extraordinary? Dear reader, He sees the potential in you. (1 Samuel 16:7)
You think no one hears your cries? Don't worry, He is close to the brokenhearted. (Psalm 34: 18) He can help you. (Psalm 40:1-2)
You hate yourself? Don't. Don't hate yourself because you think everyone hates you. Should I even repeat and say that He died for you because of His abundant love for you? (John 3;16)

Beauty is not dependent on what you wear or how you look. He does not care about your appearance because the heart is more important to Him. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

So stop crying out of self-pity as if the 783,137 word length of love letter for you does not exist.


[1] See https://wordcounter.net/blog/2015/12/08/10975_how-many-words-bible.html

Think Like a Psalmist

“We ought to stop thinking like scientists and think like psalmists.” 

—A.W. Tozer

What did Tozer mean when he said this? Why did he describe our way of thinking as scientists? In this busy world we live in, we have forgotten to stop and smell the flowers and just appreciate God’s goodness and beauty. What is more alarming is, we have forgotten God. We have placed God in a box and have overlooked His character. If you read the book of Psalm, you’ll see how God’s attributes are revealed in each chapter. The psalmists knew what was important. They sought God in every trial, every victory, every time they cry, and every time they laugh. They knew God because they have experienced a very important principle that can be found in Psalm 34:8

“Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!”

What does it mean for God to be called good?

“God is kindhearted, gracious, good-natured, and benevolent in intention.”
–Attributes of God, A.W. Tozer (p.35)

Because God is God, His goodness is infinite and abounding. Guess what? His infinite goodness is the reason why you and I live today. How? Because of His infinite goodness, He created us. Because of His infinite goodness, He sent Jesus to take the penalty of our sins. Because of His infinite goodness, He wanted to be reconciled with us. Because of His infinite goodness, He does whatever he does because He does things out of who He is. But even though God wants us to experience His goodness, man has the choice whether to respond in awe of His goodness or to turn their hearts away from God’s character.

“God is good toward all who accept His goodness. And for those who reject His goodness, there’s nothing that even the Almighty God can do if He’s going to allow man his free will—and I believe in free will.”— Attributes of God, A.W. Tozer (p. 40)

Nature’s Learning Nuggets

On our recent Batangas-Tagaytay-Laguna family trip I intentionally sought to see God’s goodness and beauty in nature. Here are some of those nuggets:

• God created nature for us to be reminded of the beginning. In the beginning, man had a perfect relationship with God. Everything was good (God created the universe and said that it was good). We had everything we needed but we wanted more. So we decided to ruin God’s paradise for us by sinning against Him. But mankind’s story did not end there, because of God’s goodness He made a way for us to be reconciled with Him. Out of His loving-kindness, He wanted us to experience paradise with Him again.

• To capture the taste of something, you have to chew it slowly and that’s what I exactly did. I inhaled and exhaled and allowed myself to be still before God. We can still be still and experience peace despite the bustling era we live in. Just as the storm is calm at the center or the eye, we can be calm in the midst of chaos by looking above as we stand at the center of His presence.

• Think like psalmists. They learned from God’s handiwork displayed around us. They knew how to give thanks to God whatever the circumstances were. We have complicated life so much and have forgotten that we only need a few important things to live life. Learn from the flowers of the field, the grass which grows all around, and the trees that sway with the wind. I think they’re pretty content with just living their lives bathing in the sun, being showered by water, and gazing up above.

Life Nugget

I think our life nugget can be best summarized by what A.W. Tozer said about God’s loving-kindness (Yes, I am going to be quoting A.W. Tozer in a lot of blog posts because I’m going to start writing about God’s attributes),

“His kindness is something we must have. It must be a reflection, a lingering flavor, like an old vase that once held beautiful flowers. Though the vase is broken, the scent of the roses hangs round the vase. So mankind, fallen like a broken vase, dashed to the pavement and splintered into a million pieces, yet has something we call kindness.”(p.43)

Loving-kindness is a reflection of God’s goodness. God is good and He created us in His own image. Are you reflecting God’s goodness and kindness today?

“Thou art good, and doest good; teach me Thy statutes.” (Psalm 119:68)

A Little Reminder

The world is messed up.

Blood spilled, corruption is normal,and chaos is romanticized.

The world is full of problems.

Tears, screams, and cries are heard everywhere.

The world is covered with darkness.
Need I say more?

We look upon this world frustrated, worried, saddened, angered, and annoyed.

Sometimes we look upon it with disgust.

Sometimes with sympathy.

We loathe it.

We cry for it.

Our feelings for it is a mixture of ironies.

But.

What can we do about it?

What makes us different from the world?

Him.

We have a problem but we ALREADY have a solution.

We KNOW the solution.

As much as it tires us, as much as we don't want to care anymore, as much as we think they don't deserve this grace that God has freely given...it's the same grace that saved us when we were once part of this world.

How selfish you are to keep it to yourself.

Were you the one who suffered on that cross to pay for the sins of the world?

Who are you to complain then?

Who are you that you should sit back and not step out of your comfort zone to share about this amazing grace?

Were you not bought by the precious blood that was shed?

At the end of the day, it's not about us, it's all about HIM.

As crazy as it seems, we need to live radically as opposed to the norm. Why, the norm of the world is actually what is abnormal. But the world has turned it into something normal.

Are you with the world or are you set apart from the world? If you are a light then BE a light.

Are you an Electrical Post?

It all started with our trip to Ilocos. Every time our family traveled out of town I'd just stare out the car window and start pondering about whatnots.

This time while I was staring outside the window, I took notice of those high posts that carry the electrical cords to houses and buildings for electricity. As I continued to observe it, it suddenly reminded me of something...the cross.

Yes it reminded me of the cross because of it's shape but there was more to it than the shape.

As I said earlier, these posts carry those electrical cord to places so that the people in those places may have electricity. Electricity is now a basic necessity for people to live, and live life to the fullest, (nope, not exaggerating. Nowadays, electricity is needed for a place to be brightened up. It is also needed so that we can use appliances that help us move around easily and efficiently. You can also say that electricity symbolizes abundance because to have electricity means that you live a more "advance" life.

In the same way, Jesus died on the cross to carry the sin of the world so that we may have life and have it more abundantly.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭

Through His death and resurrection, we can have a bright life. Through Him, light reached out to our dark pit.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'”
‭‭John‬ ‭8:12‬ ‭

But my thoughts did not stop here, the series of posts that I saw allowed me to get another life nugget from it.

This reminded me of us, the children of light. This drawing reminds me what we are to do if we want to follow Jesus is to take up our cross.

"Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." 

(Matthew 18:24)

Now that we have experienced the light, we are to carry on the light (Eph 5:8; Matt 5:16; 1 John 1:5).

Has the Light reached your place? And if it already did, Are you passing on the Light?

"Remember"

A friend of mine told me to listen to "Nuvole bianche" by Ludovico Einaudi. After listening to it in youtube (that video with beautiful skies that accompanied the music), my heart just gradually melted as I not only listened to the music and gazed at the pictures but also saw a story behind it. I quickly wrote my heart's response to the music and here below is a story entitled, "Remember, Remember".

"Remember, remember." 
.
.
. 

I stand by the picket fence with my eyes set upon the heavens, gazing upon the stars, catching the last of their twinkles from the dark evening sky. As the stars slowly fade from the dark blue hues while the streak of colours of the morning sky inches through from the heavens horizon, I started remembering her last words. 

Am I ready for this? I breathe out the thoughts that held me back, then slowly closing my eyes, whispering to myself the very words that she whispered to me. "Remember, remember."

 At a long and deep breath out I release the thoughts by slowly opening my eyes and seeing again the beauty of the sky before me. 

"The sky, she loved the sky," I think out loud. 

The misty fog that filled our surroundings; the setting of the sun that we watched when I took her to the lake; that moment when we tried to catch our breath as we gasped in awe of the glory of the mountain range enclave stretching beyond the endless green fields where we laid our feet on --- I remembered all these memories. 

Street lights are now slowly disappearing in the town below. 

She loved the stars. She loved the clouds. She really loved the sky. And I really loved her. She smiled when her eyes beheld the beauty of nature. I smiled whenever I saw her smile. She was always there in my journey through life. She would always tell me what to do and what not to do. She told me many great things and wonders in all seasons under the blue, green, indigo, violet, light blue, dark blue, grey, pink, peach, yellow, and orange skies. 

"Remember its beauty. Remember its wonder. Remember to look above and gaze upon it. Remember all of these despite the fast-paced world that we live in. Remember, remember."

 I remember I was seated on the porch with her in the evening dawn, and I intently looked at the cow at the other fence slowly chewing the grass. I remember looking how the fog slowly clearing up as the golden sunshine ascending at the backdrop of the mountain tops. I remember breathing in the cool morning air as we quietly watched the trees swaying from the mountain top. I remember seeing the glass panes of the windows left with moisture of breath marks of the evening mists. 

I remember how I walked with her through the vineyard and she told me about the parable of the workers in the vineyard. I told her that I didn't understand the merit of the parable and she purposely explained it to me. I listened with intent. She taught me that the message of that parable was to be content and to trust Him who has called us to follow Him, above all else. At that very moment, my inner eyes were suddenly cleared off with the misty fog of worldly desires. 

The sun is now halfway up and softly shining over everything under. I walk silently along the fence and I continue to reminisce about those precious moments that I had with her. 

"Treasure every moment while you still can, for the day will soon end quickly without you noticing it. Time is valuable; lost time can never be replaced. Though storms and misty fogs may cloud your day, remember that they shall pass away in time." She told me lovingly as we continued to bask under the sun during an afternoon breeze. "Grey skies will come, but bright skies will come anytime soon. Don't let those grey skies cloud your vision. Acknowledge the moment with everything in it, but choose not to get affected with misery, restlessness, or grief, instead, wait expectantly for the bright skies with a cheerful countenance." 

The shadows of the trees are dancing around me as the mantel of morning glory continues to ascend through those beautifully painted slopes. I am standing in front of that old car that I used to drive her to places that made her eyes twinkle and her face gleam. I remember each passing day and every moment that I had with her. 

She loved the mountains. She loved the quiet waters of the lake. She loved the dancing autumn leaves that would flutter about whenever there was a gush of wind. I remember how she would laugh and twirl as she imagined the wind breathing a song. Her childlike glee masked her age and she appeared to be youthful. 

I remember how the day would then end and how she would bid me to go to bed and sleep, but she will wake me up an hour before the sun rises so that we may gaze upon the evening stars handshake with the glorious morning star.

 I shut my eyes and tears started to roll down my cheeks.

Gazing at the now-blue morning sky, I keep asking why. "Why must You take her away? Why must You break my heart into pieces and take her away the moment that I learned contentment, joy, peace, and simplicity in life?" I sob and fall into my knees as I continue to remember my memories with her.

"You will know that you have learned these things by heart when you have them despite the circumstances taking them away from you."

 And then I realize. I think I have already learned to be content, joyful, and be at peace but the truth is, I haven't learned it yet. 

Despite the heartache that I am now feeling and the tears that are now streaming down my cheeks, I choose to remember once more, savouring the memories in my mind. 

The sun was rising when I woke up. I was excited with what we will be doing together for the day so I immediately dressed up and went downstairs. I was halfway through the stairs, but was surprised because I did not hear your usual morning hum so I quickly went to the kitchen to look for you. I got anxious for not seeing you there. I started to panic with negative thoughts as I kept searching for you in every corner of the house. Suddenly I heard a soft knocking from the front door and I quickly rushed to open it. There you were standing smiling softly as you greeted me good morning. In tears I rushed to embrace you for I thought for a moment that I have lost you. You assured me that you were there and I thought then that you will always be here. 

Days gone by, and I noticed your smiles were turning weak and you ran out of your breath more often when you speak. You were slowly becoming feeble to the point that you need to sit down most of the time. I had to let you sit on a wheelchair and push you around when we had to go out to do our simple nature strolling like sky gazing and nature appreciation. Our frequent outdoor strolls began to drop as well because your physical energy was waning off. Your eyes started to grow dim and it didn't twinkle and smile as much as before. Though you continued to laugh and smile for me, I knew that something was about to happen that you hid behind those laughs and smiles that you put up. You told me that we would stroll outside to the vast fields and have a picnic while we gasp in awe of the mountains the following day but...it never happened. 

Something did happen though. 

An hour before the sun rose the following day, you were suddenly rushed to the hospital. And there I learned about the truth. That day was actually your last and you kept that from me. 

As I sat beside you while you were on your hospital bed, you told me to remember everything you said and taught me. You told me to remember every color of the sky our eyes beheld. You told me to remember the billions of stars that we gazed upon. You told me to remember the morning and evening air that blew upon our faces. You told me to remember how the sun kissed our skin as we basked under it. You told me to remember how the trees swayed and how their leaves danced. You told me to remember all the stories and wisdom that you passed on to me every day. All my memories with you flashed before my eyes in a second. 

That day as the sun returned to its home for the night, the sky was painted red. I remembered how you told me that a red sky meant that there was war and death. It was then that I truly believed you for that day you died, I also wrestled inside. I was torn in pieces between grief and remembering. How could I obey your last words to remember while I was soak with grief, loss and helplessness? But in those moments, I remember what you always said that everything is temporary and time passes quickly without you noticing it. 

The sun has risen and the people in the town are now awake and ready for another day. My tears are now starting to dry up as I lean on to my old, rusty car. 

"Promise me that you’ll remember all of these memories and capture them into your heart. But when you do take all of these memories once and for all, let go of me." She whispered to me softly. 

"I promise to remember all of it including every detail of those memories, but why must I let go of you?" I replied while my ears were tearing up. 

"Let go of me after you collected all those memories. If you don’t, the happy memories will only turn into sad ones. I want those memories to be my memento that would make you smile. I want those happy moments to continue even when I'm gone. By letting me go from your memories, you will know that you have learned true contentment, joy, and peace apart from me. You will know that it is not me after all that you needed but Him who created all our memories together, who will never leave you but will forever be with you in your journey, creating in you a succession of new memories day after day, moment by moment. So after you remember our memories, with a willing and grateful heart, let go of me." She smiled at me as she said this and held my hand. 

"Remember, remember." And then she breathed her last. 


I stand straight up and smile as I see the birds flying by flock. I hear the little birdies sitting on a nearby branch chirping sweetly. I smile seeing the leaves dance beneath the trees as a warm breeze embrace me tight. I look above the sky and stretch my hands upward while breathing in the fresh morning air. Tears have dried up, I exclaim a joyous sound. 

"I remember all of it now. It took me a while to finally walk through every moment that I had with you. But now, I can let go of you. From this day on, I shall continue to make wonderful memories for you." I grin at the sky and imagine her looking at me through the clouds with her glorious smile. 


"Thank you mom."

Guard Your Heart

"Guard your heart bro/sis."

This is what most Christian teenagers tell each other nowadays when it comes to talking about their "crushes" and the like. Where does this phrase come from anyway?

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

What do you mean by guarding your heart? It means that you should watch over what you "feel". 

This concept of guarding your heart is a popular phrase emotional purity. But what is emotional purity? What is purity? Let's dig deeper from the roots so we can understand what these things actually mean.

Purity. 
People usually describe purity as "innocence","without blemish", or "clean". These are true synonyms to purity but these are by the dictionary definitions. What is biblical purity? Now even biblical purity is perceived to have lots of definitions as well. People usually connect it with virginity,which to some extent is biblically true, but we should know what purity really means. Purity means holiness, righteous, and yes, it also means that it is without blemish; without blemish means perfection. So how do you know if you're pure? We aren't. We are all like lambs with blemish because all of us are sinful beings. But we were made righteous before God through Jesus Christ.

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21

How do we become pure?= How do we pursue purity?

Purity= Jesus

Therefore, How do we become pure?= We pursue Jesus

We pursue Jesus by pursuing Christ-likeness.

Emotional purity. 
Now what is emotional purity? It's keeping yourself from any "emotional" thoughts and feelings that displeases God. How do you know if your thoughts and feelings displeases God? Well you need to know Him. You get to know what kind of author the author is by reading his book. In the same way, you need to read the Bible to get to know God, the Author of our life. 

One of the things which involves emotions and displeases God is lust. Lust is a sexual desire outside the boundaries that God has made. So if lust is an "enemy" of emotional purity, then how do you know if you lust?

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28

Even looking at someone lustfully means that you have already committed adultery, an act of impurity. But the opposite of emotional purity is not only confined with lust. I mentioned that emotional "thoughts" are part of emotional purity as well.

Connecting it all together. In my recent post regarding emotions ["Emotions and Feelings are the Same, Right?"], I mentioned about the thalamus, a part of your brain which is responsible for your emotions, motivation, behavior, and the like. This is what you actually call "heart" with regards to emotions. Now since it is part of the brain, those emotions usually affect your thoughts as well. You see, when you dwell on your emotions you generate feelings. You dwell on your feelings because you thought about it. And you continue thinking and feeling at the same time which leads you to overthinking. Overthinking then affects your actions and your actions affect your behavior.

Learning nugget. To conclude, guarding your heart means that we guard ourselves from the fleshly desires that we have. Remember, it is human to have those desires and it isn't sinful to be tempted. BUT, what you do with those temptations, how you respond to those desires, does not negate the fact that you will still reap the consequences of your actions. All actions have consequences so guard your actions. 

Life Nugget. 
"I can't"-Rev. Edmund Chan

But actually, I've learned in time that we just can't guard our hearts. We are just that weak and vulnerable to sin. This is why we need to surrender ourselves to God because we just can't...but HE CAN. But of course we need to do our part as well. Let me end this post with this verse.

 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:7-10

Let God guard your heart.

:)

Emotions and Feelings are the Same, Right?

"Emotions and feelings are the same, right?"

"And uh,I think it's also similar to mood." 

"Wait what is 'affect'?"

These are the questions that popped in my head when our class discussed about emotions. So what have I learned about these 4 complicated words? 

Emotions, feelings, moods.  
First of all, I know that every human being has emotions. But honestly, it was really hard for me to define and all the more differentiate what emotions, feelings, and moods are. I thought they are just all the same. I could also not define them in reference to the context of crush or infatuation that my peers usually talk about.  
I don't know if it is due to how I am wired, how I was brought up, the environment surrounding me, or both. I learned about the differences among the three when it was discussed in my Soc Sci 1 class.

Definitions.
 I learned that 'affect' is the result of your instant reaction to a situation. It is short-lived and it may or may not register consciously in the person. Mood, on the other hand, is something closely similar to affect in some aspects. 

Mood is a temporary state that you feel due to your environment, thoughts, physiology, or current emotions. For example, hunger plus sleep-deprived state plus the need to study can result in to a cranky behavior. 

Emotions was explained as the state of 'affect' of a person. It is your psychosocial response to situations and events that are cooperated with chemicals released in your brain. I will further explain what this cooperation with the brain is later. 

Feelings, which I thought by semantics were also emotions, are actually the result of soaking yourself or indulging in your emotions. 

Disgust and Anger. 
I further learned that general Emotions are actually divided into three sections based on W.G Parrott's detailed list of emotions. Contrary to what I learned in the movie entitled Inside Out about, Disgust is actually a secondary emotion under Anger, which I think is appropriate since Disgust has the element of irritation rooted in Anger. But, I wanted to know why is Surprise not under Joy or Fear. This actually led me into asking whether it is possible to combine emotions to produce another (since Surprise may be a product of Joy and Fear). Although there are a lot of theories regarding emotions, some do show that a combination of the primary emotions is actually possible. One example is Plutchik's wheel of emotions that show how love, submission, optimism, awe, disapproval, remorse, contempt, and aggressiveness are combinations of the eight primary emotions Plutchik used. But I still haven't researched enough to see whether surprise may be indeed a combination of joy and fear.

Parott's List of Emotions

Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

Limbic System. Moving on, another learning nugget that I was able to get from this topic is the understanding of the Limbic System or the paleomamammalian brain. This is actually what most people refer to as the 'heart' in regards to emotions. As opposed to its more popular term, the Limbic System is actually located in the brain on both sides of the thalamus, right under the cerebrum. The Limbic System is also responsible for other functions such as behavior, motivation, and long-term memory. 
(Side note: I think this is where Inside Out based the setting of their story.)

Learning Nuggets. 
This topic is actually encouraging me to study further about the brain and the mind, a mental concept where mental reality exists. Being a student of philosophy who is interested in psychology, this is a topic that I would very much like to study.

Now because of all these learning nuggets, I had another question in my mind that remains unanswered. Is it possible, for a human, to be emotionless? Before I researched about this, I started to answer this piece by piece by going back to what I've just learned about emotions. First, I took notice of the differences among affect, mood, feelings, and emotions. This helped me greatly since now, I can define what being emotionless means. Since emotions are something that is not just psychological, but is also supported by something physical, the Limbic System, I conclude that it is impossible for humans to have no emotions. Besides, every human being has emotions since it is part of the composition of being human. BUT, I found out that it is possible to be not aware of your emotions. What am I saying? Well, being aware of your emotions will naturally lead you to soak yourself into it. This will actually result to what you call feelings. Having said that, I conclude that feelings can actually be managed since we have the choice whether or not to focus and indulge in our emotions.

Alexithymia.I recently learned that there is actually a rare case of a person being 'emotionless'. This personality trait is called Alexithymia which is classified as the difficulty in identifying and describing how and what you feel. This thus proves the possibility of not being aware of your emotions. Take note though that maturity can also be the reason why a person doesn't dwell in his or her feelings. It may be that he or she chooses not too because they know the possible negative effects of doing so.

To sum this all up, I am glad that I was able to learn a lot of things in this topic even for just a short amount of time. Yes, this motivated me to study further in this matter and might even go further as to study how it connects to other social sciences.